The urban nightmare has always been ample fodder for Hollywood. Granted, “Panic Room” was probably filmed prior to the events of September 11th; nonetheless, it seems in bad taste to release this film just past the six-month milestone of the World Trade center tragedy. Then again, its plot is so implausible and stupid that it would have been in bad taste to release it anytime in the next century.

Meg Altman (Jodie Foster) is a wealthy recent divorcee with a teenage daughter, Sarah (Kristen Stewart), who left her Greenwich, Connecticut mansion when she caught her husband philandering. Mag has always wanted to live in New York, but like a lot of people, finding housing is not easy, even with the financial means. As cinematic luck would have it, she finds a townhouse just off of Central Park West in need of some fixing up. Besides having spacious accommodations, the townhouse has a special fortress-room resembling a bank vault, an impenetrable space nicknamed “the panic room” by realtors. The house’s previous owner, a Mr. Pearlstein, was a fanatic about security and always wanted a place to safely hide in case of a criminal intrusion.

On their very first night in their new abode, three robbers break into Meg’s townhouse. This is no ordinary robbery, as the trio has only one thing in mind: breaking into the “panic room.” It turns out that Mr. Pearlstein left over $20 million in bonds there, and his disinherited son, Junior (Jared Leto), wants to get his hands on it. What he did not count on, however, was that Meg and her daughter would move in so soon. Junior is abetted by a skilled technician with a conscience named Burnham (Forest Whitaker) and a psychotic gunman who calls himself Raoul (country singer Dwight Yoakum).

Of course, when Junior and his crew invade, Meg and Sarah run to the panic room, which, in retrospect, is the worst place to go since the criminals don’t want to hurt them. They merely want to get their hands on Old Man Pearlstein’s bonds. All of this leads to a nonsensical and predictable game of cat and mouse that inevitably turns violent three-quarters of the way into the film.

Just about the only shining light here is Jared Leto, who plays Junior as an obviously educated man who knows how to toss out a good quip even when losing his temper. During his absences, the film comes to a screeching halt.

Jodie Foster knows that she is slumming here and shows it in her performance. In the final scenes, during which she goes mano a mano with the bad guys, the action is laughable, the kind of crap one used to associate with Demi Moore flicks.

“Panic Room” is shot in a constant, depressing grey. It would have been more interesting had director David Fincher done this film in flat out black & white.

More likely, “Panic Room” will be the offices for the agents of both Jodie Foster and Forest Whitaker after their clients dump them, blaming their tarnished careers on this misguided project.

"Panic Room"

Starring Jodie Foster, Forest Whitaker, Jared Leto & Dwight Yoakam

Written and produced by David Koepp

Directed by David Fincher

reviewed by Lloyd Carroll